If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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