Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
