dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
