Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
