I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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