We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
