i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
