maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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