I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
