He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
