ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
