It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
