I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
