her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
