Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
