He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
