Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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