On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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