fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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