I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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