I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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