Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
