I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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