after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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