Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
