Soap is not a condiment
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
