how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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