Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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