yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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