i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
