I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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