does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
