I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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