He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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