I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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