its not stalking. its research.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
