had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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