My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
