Midget sex pt 2 tonight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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