hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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