I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
