I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
