he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
