I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
