Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
