Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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