Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
