she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
