dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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