My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
