Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
