i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
